When I was a teenager, the only Pride that was popular was Jane Austen’s book Pride and Prejudice.  You can get it today as well, even in an e-book for $1.99, or a fancy edition for $24.99.  “Pride and Prejudice has consistently appeared near the top of lists of “most-loved books” among literary scholars and the reading public. It has become one of the most popular novels in English literature, with over 20 million copies sold, and has inspired many derivatives in modern literature. For more than a century, dramatic adaptations, reprints, unofficial sequels, films, and TV versions of Pride and Prejudice have portrayed the memorable characters and themes of the novel, reaching mass audiences.” (Wikipedia) It is a romantic novel of intrigue and high-society manners that places the meaning of the word pride in the realm of social standing.

In the last 100 years the words “pride” and “prejudice” have been attached to homosexuality.  Mainly prejudice was responsible for laws against homosexuals, lesbians, and transgenders in Germany in the 1930s and the extermination of many during the second world war. After the war the situation of LGBTQ was bad all over the world.  Members of the group suffered social discrimination and even laws which would place them in jail.  In Israel there was a section in law that prohibited homosexual relationships which was eliminated only in 1988 after a long fight.  The newspapers in 1989 published a headline accusing a homosexual gang of thefts and using young boys, increasing prejudice against the group.  It is not hard to understand why many of the community did not “come out of the closet.”  The situation was not much different in North America.

The first gay pride parade in the US was held on June 28, 1970, in New York City, and was called the Christopher Street Liberation Day March. It took place on the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising. Similar marches were also held on the same day in Los Angeles and Chicago. The first Gay and Lesbian Parade in Israel happened in July 1979.  It was called then the protest of the Pleasants.  They were members of “The guardians of human rights society.”  Members of the “Bney Avraham,” a Jewish homosexual society from the US were some of the instigators of the protest parade, when they were not allowed to have a conference in Israel.  The “Pleasants” demanded the right to live openly as gays and lesbians. There was also a public protest against the name “Pleasants” (Naim, Naama), which is a female’s name and a surname in Hebrew.  The march was shown on television, which had only one channel at that time. The presenter interviewed bystanders who had largely negative comments. The first, and so far, the only transgender novel, was published in Israel 44 years ago.

Last weekend, in Victoria BC, a Pride parade and a big outdoor festival celebrated Pride Month.  This was the last leg of our trip out West to celebrate our granddaughter’s wedding to her female partner of 10 years.  They chose Abbotsford, an unbelievably beautiful location, for the wedding celebration.  The winery and farm, surrounded by majestic mountains, was a perfect setting for the outdoor ceremony.  We were so proud to witness how our first granddaughter and her fiancée created this magic all by themselves, with a bit of help from their parents, grandparents, and friends.  We laughed and cried, danced, and enjoyed family and friends we do not often see.  But most importantly we witnessed a very unique ceremony written by Yael and her sister Shira, blending the Jewish tradition of Yael with the Chinese tradition of Ya-Ting, who stems from Taiwan.  Shira officiated, and the marriage commissioner sealed and witnessed the official marriage document.

Yael’s veil was lovingly embroidered by family and friends with flowers, and Ya-Ting’s white suit was sewn by her sister who also embroidered the lapels.  Only two people were missing from the celebration: Ya-Ting’s father, who was in Taiwan nursing his ailing mother, and Shi, Yael’s uncle, who was unable to fly out of Israel due to the war with Iran.  They had to make do with the livestream of the ceremony (we have to be thankful for modern technology).  A family was established by blending traditions.  The Chinese tea ceremony is a traditional start of every union, and was performed with a teapot and 2 cups I made for them years ago (I’d forgotten that I did!).  I was so moved to see them used.  From the Jewish tradition came the breaking of the glass, which became the breaking of 2 glasses, with new meanings: life is precious and fragile; the sound of the breaking glass symbolizes the permanence of the commitment between the two – the breaking of glass cannot be undone; they vow to hold each other, knowing that their bond is unbreakable.  Shira told the couple: “When you break your glass let it remind you of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing each other in every moment… The shards of this glass may scatter but together they are part of something much larger.”

The wedding vows they wrote and read to each other told the story of their meeting, falling in love, and Ya-Ting patiently waiting for the past 5 years until Yael was ready to tie the knot.  The brides placed the rings on each other’s fingers saying: “I give you my hand and my heart; I choose you to be my partner and my best friend; With this ring I offer my everlasting love.”  With the official “I Do” the marriage was sealed and the official BC documents and the Jewish Ketubah were signed by both the couple and the witnesses on a table covered by the Chupa I painted for my daughter, Yael’s mother, for her wedding.

From generation to generation we pass our traditions, and we see the changes and adaptations within and between groups. When I asked a friend recently what comes to her mind when she hears the word pride, her affiliation to the word was a very loverly one. Pride in our achievements and our children’s family, friends and colleague’s achievements. I am proud of my granddaughter for who she is, and for showing us a way of fully including anyone who is different than us in our family and society. We are blessed to be open to change, and to accept people with respect even when we do not fully understand, and to love unconditionally.